Jaded Junior

Ugh, I don't know what's wrong with me tonight. It's only the third week of term, and I'm completely exhausted. Today after class, I went to work, did a bit of grocery shopping, came back, cooked dinner, ran off to biochem recitation, went and read at the library for a bit, and then came back to my room to study Japanese. I might even get to sleep before 1am tonight. Haven't done that at all this week yet.

Problem sets have become incomprehensible, papers are piling up, and I have a huge stack of books to read through. The workload is frightening... I've never taken five full classes before, and with work on top of that, I don't have time to do much of anything besides class work, I guess. A couple hours ago, I got really antsy and I was really hoping to see people at the dorm study break, even so I could just sit down for a few minutes and chill... But no one was there. Then I felt really discouraged, and felt like I hadn't seen anyone in days... Even though I'd seen Sarah and Vikki in lecture today and talked to people last night and did p-sets with them earlier this week and all. I don't like feeling so... needy for human contact. Maybe I've been listening to too much music. I just got ahold of several remixes of Delerium's "After All" and I have been listening to them like, all day long. They are awesome. But I probably shouldn't be listening to various versions of a single song for hours on end. I wish I had enough energy to get started on some of my homework ahead of time. But all I really want to do is to sleep. Or talk to someone. But no one is around, and I haven't learned all my new Japanese vocabulary yet. At least I'm going home this weekend. I'm desperately looking forward to it. I need to get away from everything MIT, even if it's only for a couple days. Even if I still have a million things to do for classes.

I invited Sarah over to my house this weekend, but she just got sick a few days ago, so I don't know how that's going to fly. I feel like she's been annoyed at me for the past few days, and I'm not sure why. Maybe because I was hopelessly stupid and useless for the last 6.003 p-set (Signals and Systems = evil math), and there was stress and stuff involved too.... yeah. I made chicken soup for her tonight because it gave me an excuse to cook something, which I don't seem to do much these days... The mix said to use canned chicken, and I laughed at it and bought real chicken and made it with carrots and peas... It came out quite good, but I wish I'd had some more substantial noodles. Oh well. I hope Sarah liked it. I had to run off to class, so I don't even know if she ate it.

Ah, I feel so gloomy. I don't want to draw, or play DDR, or do much of anything. I wonder if I'd feel happier if I could go read outside in the sunlight and 50-degree weather... Too bad the weather report indicates that we're heading back to seasonably chilly temperatures.

- Flykyr Skysong

Current song: Chromatone - Phantons
Current mood: Dull